How to Spot a Liar

Isn’t that like being psychic?  Wouldn’t it be interesting and probably even helpful to know whether someone’s lying to us or not?  Is it even possible?  So many questions and so little answers!  According to Pamela Meyer, author of ‘Lie Spotting’,

Lie spotters are armed with scientific ways to spot deception.

It’s indeed an interesting subject. Although sometimes it can be easy to spot when a person is lying to you, other times, you won’t even notice that someone’s lied to you.

Here are 6 scientific ways through which you can spot a liar:

1. Listen More, Speak Less

Research suggests that liars tend to speak more than people who are telling the truth because they want to sound legitimate.  Liars tend to be generous when it comes to sharing details, which shows that they’ve probably put a lot of thought, effort and rehearsal into what they’re going to say.

On the contrary, honest people tend to give more direct and ‘to-the-point’ answers, usually because they don’t have to think about they’re going to say since they’re telling facts.

Aside from over-sharing of information, pay attention to the way that they speak.  An indicator of stress is when someone talks louder or faster.

A change in the natural tone of voice and repetitive clearing of the throat and coughing are all signs of deception.

2. Repetition of Questions

 

Another great indicator of if someone’s lying to you is when they stall by repeating a question you just asked, for example:

Did you take out the trash?

Did I take out the trash? Yes, I did.

I’m sure we’ve all done that when getting caught doing something wrong by our parents.  Everyone has a different reaction to getting caught lying, some get nervous and some try different ways to stall questions in order to give the ‘right’ answer.

Plus, usually when someone stalls a question, it’s either because they’re thinking about it or they don’t want to tell you.  And if they don’t want to tell you, you can probably guess that they’ll lie.

3. Contradictions

 

This is a pretty obvious way to tell if someone’s lying to you.

Look for contradictions in their story – see if something adds up or not.  When you’re listening closely, and paying attention to details of what they’re saying, it’s pretty hard to miss contradictions.  Liars don’t tend to have fool-proof stories, so if the story doesn’t add up, it’s most probably not true.

In terms of body language, a usually slow-talker could be talking really fast.  Someone who’s usually very animated while talking is now just sitting still looking around.

This isn’t to say that you should go looking for trouble, maybe they are telling the truth but ask them about the contradiction and their response and body language can you’ll be able to pretty much tell.  Try not to be intimidating when you ask either because that can cause them to get nervous which doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re lying.

4. A Smile Can Tell All

 

A lot of people can’t fake a smile or any or body language because it just happens unconsciously.

Interestingly, according the Psychology Today,

Smiles are used extensively by experienced liars because they both make others feel positive and also tend to be less suspicious about them lying.

It’s like a mask that people can use to cover up any negative feelings they might be having about lying and many fall for it.

Moreover, another reason why a smile is a great way to check if someone’s lying or not is to watch their face.

If the ends of their mouths reach the their eyes, if they squint or other indicators like crows feet, you can probably consider them telling the truth.

However, if they smile and nothing else in their face moves, then there’s a big probability that they’re lying to you.

5. The Word ‘No’

Pay attention to the way they say the word ‘no’, it’s a key word to observe if you suspect that someone’s lying to you.

For example, they could say ‘no’ and look in a different direction, hesitate beforehand, stretch the word out, close their eyes or change the tone of their voice.

This can also be used beyond just the word ‘no’, for example, if you ask a liar a direct question and they show body language of stalling (as mentioned in the previous point) which could be looking around, or trying really hard to think, you can probably assume that it’s because they’re lying.

Be the best judge of the situation!  You’ll be able to tell given the context or circumstance.

6. They Can’t Tell a Story Backwards

 

People who lie tend to add certain details to a story, which makes it harder for them to remember.  Those extra details often don’t add up, either.  If you have a feeling that someone’s lying to you, ask him or her to retell the story backwards.

You’ll notice that if someone’s lying, they’ll potentially simplify the story to avoid contradicting themselves even more.

When it’s difficult to recall details of a story that never happened and especially when they’re caught off-guard by it and don’t have the time to be able to rehearse.  Here you can look for other signs mentioned above that could show that they’re stalling or smiling and such.

Sometimes, it can be pretty obvious.

Conclusion,

Lying and being lied to is pretty common and happens on a daily basis.  Can you remember the last time you lied?  You probably can’t recall, but it’s actually been a lot recent than you’d think.  According to an article by the Independent, they claim that research shows that in just a span of 10 minutes, the average person will tell at least 3 white lies!  There’s always ways to tell if someone can be lying to you or not, but these aren’t set-in-stone.  They’re just indicators to help you identify if someone’s potentially lying to you.  At the end of the day, there’s no ‘real’ way to read someone’s mind—and that’s the truth.

What Not to Say in an Interview

It’s totally normal to get nervous before an interview.  You never know what’s going to happen, what you’re going to be asked or how to prep for it.  Worse case scenario, your nerves get the best of you even though you know you’re fit for the job.

So, let me help you secure that opportunity by putting your best foot forward and understanding these 9 mistakes you should never make in an interview:

1. Anything Unprofessional

I mean, that’s a no brainer, right?

Wrong.

Common sense isn’t common practice and for that exact reason, let’s just get this one straight out the way.

Once, I had someone ask me where I get my hair styled from and what color I dye it, while I was interviewing them.  Another time, a candidate applied for an administrative role and kept on talking about how much she loves public speaking and how she wants to become a public speaker.

It’s important to keep focus for why you’re here because it’s a reflection on your character and a foreshadowing of how you can hold and carry yourself in the workplace and how productive of an employee you can be.

Keep to the point and remind yourself of all the great qualities you possess that would make you a perfect fit for this job!  You have to present your best foot forward, show them what you’re made of and why they would hire you.  One of the ways in which you can stay being professional, is to prepare so you can be more confident.

Keep from saying things like, ‘Sorry, I need to take this call‘, ‘Sorry I’m late!‘ (DON’T BE LATE) and ‘How long will this take?

I’ll answer those questions for you so we can get them out the way now.

Firstly, using your phone in the middle of an interview is highly unprofessional and there are a shockingly large number of candidates who actually think its OK to use their phones.

Secondly, it doesn’t matter if a half an hour interview turns into a one and a half-hour interview. Sometimes, if it’s running longer, it’s usually a good sign.

Lastly, just don’t be late.  The ideal is 15 minutes before your interview time is scheduled for.

2. Asking What the Company Does

When people ask me this question, it’s a no for me, straight off the bat.

It shows that you didn’t put in any time or interest before coming in to find out what the company you could be  working for does.  Neither does it show the interviewer that you’re prepared or if you even care about this opportunity at all.

Make sure to research the company that you would potentially like to work at before you head over to the interview.  Nowadays, we have social media and almost every company has a website, the resources are at your fingertips – it just takes a couple of seconds to pull the information up on your screen.

Otherwise, other than it reflecting on your lack of initiative, it just wastes the interviewer’s time.  No one wants to sit there repeating themselves about the company for each and every candidate.

Do yourself a favor, and do your research!

3. “It’s On My Resume”

The interviewer is aware of that it’s on your resume.  They’ve seen your resume.

Always be prepared to say something more beyond just a written word because your communication and social skills are most likely going to be evaluated to see whether or not you could be face-to-face with a client or not.

Usually when they ask you questions on things that are already on your resume, they’re trying to see your articulation skills or to go into more detail about that specific role/experience.

So, next time, instead of answering a question with an ‘I don’t know’, seize this moment to talk about yourself and express what a great communicator you could be and show how well-spoken you really are!

4. Don’t Jump the Gun

 

When you express questions related to what’s in it for you, this can give the impression that you’re not really passionate about getting the job that can look really unappealing and arrogant.  The interviewers want to know what you bring to the table.  Talking about your demands too early on can be highly damaging to your chances of even getting your foot in the door.

Some questions that can throw interviewers off are, ‘So what’s my salary?’ or ‘What kind of benefits will I get?’ – that all just makes sound like you’re only there to take rather than give.  Any job-role is a two-way street and in order for you to be able to considered for a position, avoid coming across as self-serving.

This might also show the interviewer that you’re in it for the wrong reasons – and they steer clear of employees who show any of those signs.

Now, no one’s saying that you don’t have a right to ask all of these questions, but there’s a time for it. Wait till you get a second interview or job offer to discuss these topics.

5. “I Don’t Know”

 

Points for being honest but it’s the wrong direction.

It’s always good to be transparent with an interviewer and show a bit of character while holding a professional stance, but just replying to a question with an ‘I don’t know’, just may give off the impression that you’re incompetent and think on your feet.

Trust me, sometimes, interviewers are going to throw questions your way that they know are difficult just to challenge you.

If you really don’t know how to answer the question, the way you present yourself on how you tackle that situation give off a good impression that you have potential to be practical in real-life situations that may require you to think fast.

So, instead of saying, ‘I don’t know’, you could say something like ‘you know what, that’s a great question, let me think about that!’

6. Anything Negative About Your Old Company or Boss

This is a big no-go-zone for a lot of reasons.

Firstly, it’s going to reflect badly upon you – not anyone else.  If someone you just met comes up to you and starts telling you all their life problems, you’re not going to feel bad for them, you’re going to be so put off to the point where you’re going to see them in a bad light, even if what they’re saying is true.

If anything, it sounds like you’re complaining and trying to get pity.

Are you going to say negative things about this company if they hire you?

Are you going to say negative things about your new boss?

All these things matter and speak highly on your character.  Not only that, but it might even make them think that maybe you’re the one with the issue and not the other way around.  No one wants to hire a troublemaker.  Besides, even if that is the case and your old company or boss was horrible to you, you should still have discretion towards them if ever brought up in topic.

Ultimately,

There’s not hard and set rule on how to prepare for an interview, but preparation is key.  Get to know the job that you’re applying for beyond just reading it and frame your responses according to that.

Secondly, get to know the company you’ll be working for as well as you can and build a strong foundation on everything you should know.

Check out their social media to get a better vibe of who they are and what they do.  Lastly, sell yourself! This is the best chance to talk about all your strengths and what makes you special for their company and always have a list of questions that you would like to ask them.

Read my other recent article on how to ace a job interview here.

7 Things a Woman Must Have When She Makes It

Setting materialism aside, I think owning things that symbolizes our accomplishments in life and our hard-earned money is something worth doing. The fact that you know you deserve them and that it gives you great “pleasure”, making you forget all those pressures at work, frustrations with clients, killer deadlines, and sleepless nights.

Check out these 7 things that I believe every successful woman should have. Whether you’ve made or haven’t made it yet, use this list as your aspiration to keep going and getting the things you deserve.

1. The Iconic Chanel Jacket

 

Four real pockets, silk lining, and a delicate chain to ensure that it falls perfectly, the Chanel jacket is undeniably iconic.

A timeless classic worn year after year, it is without a doubt one of fashion’s most revolutionary pieces. It never goes out of style – you can reinterpret and reinvent it in a thousand ways: with skirt suit, tulle dress, or even jeans! The versatility of this jacket is beyond impressive. As how Karl Lagerfeld put it, “Some things never go out of fashion in the world of fashion: jeans, the white shirt, and the Chanel jacket.”

Price tag: From $10,000

2. Quality watch

 

Wearing a quality timepiece has been associated with sign of success or status.

It becomes a wearable trophy, a daily reminder that says ‘I can do this’ –  Kevin gray of The Wall Street Journal.

By quality watch, I’m not just referring to timepieces marketed by fashion labels; I’m talking about watches that were made by serious watchmakers, such as Patek Philippe, Audemars Piguet, Rolex, and Piaget.

These are considered investment-grade pieces – not to mention, a probable vintage collector’s edition in 20 or 30 years’ time with a very significant value when they go to auction.

Did you know that the Patek Philippe 1518 wristwatch was sold at auction for $11,136,642 and is now the world’s most expensive watch?

Price tag: $11,000 – $48,000 (Patek Philippe)

3. Diamond Tennis Bracelet

 

This is an iconic piece of jewelry that every accomplished woman can have.

Popularized by tennis superstar Chris Evert in the 1980s, the diamond tennis bracelet is such a fine piece of jewelry and a very classic accessory that enhances your sophisticated look. Dress up or dress down – they look great with just about any outfit, even with a daily wear.

This bracelet also signifies your journey to success. It’s one of those pieces that can grow with you as you achieve something – you can start with smaller diamonds then, as your budget allows, you can gradually upgrade to bigger diamonds as your success grows. Now, my recommendation when it comes to upgrading/trading your jewelry is to buy it from a jeweler and build a relationship with that jeweler so it would be easier for you to trade your pieces.

The diamond tennis bracelet is also a sentimental piece that can be passed down. I wore my diamond tennis bracelet on my wedding and it’s something that I’ll definitely pass on to my daughter.

Price tag: $5,000 dollars – $100,000 (depending on the size of the diamonds)

4. Birkin and Kelly Bags

 

These “it” bags are literally about “the effort of earning it” – because even though you have the money, you can’t just get your hands on it. They’re rarely sold to anybody. And these bags don’t care if you’re “somebody” – you can be on the waiting list for years.

Is it arrogant?

Yes.

Is it obnoxious?

Yes.

Do we still want it? Hell, yes!

The world’s most coveted carryalls became popular because of the unique stories of the women behind them.  In 1981, designer Jean-Louis Dumas was sitting next to actress Jane Birkin on a plane and realized she was struggling to keep all her belongings in her straw bag.  Birkin admitted she couldn’t find a leather bag she liked – and so, Dumas took that simple remark as an inspiration and the “Birkin Bag” came to life. In 1956, actress Grace Kelly gave Robert Dumas’ Sac à dépêches Hermes travel bag a new association after the paparazzi photographed her using the bag to shield her pregnant belly.

From that moment, the bag became known as the “Kelly Bag”.

Both the Birkin and Kelly bags are considered status symbols and great investments.  Here are some quality fun facts: the average Birkin takes 48 hours to make and is completely handmade by one artisan; while the average Kelly takes 18 to 24 hours to make and is completely handmade by one artisan.

Now, how many Birkin and Kelly do you want – that’s all up to you? But, having one is a must.

Price tag: $ 379,000 (Himalaya Birkin)

5. Investment Property

 

The question of why you should invest in real estate has a very simple answer: it assures good financial returns that only appreciate as time passes.  Other benefits of property investments include:

  • Maximizing your tax return
  • Appreciation of your asset values
  • Capitalization of the physical assets
  • Positive cash flow
  • Using leverage to maximize asset value

It’s a smart business move and at the end of the day, there are many benefits of investing in real estate that definitely outweighs the costs and it makes you earn a steady flow of income.  Because of the never-ending inflation, nowadays, it’s sometimes not enough to just rely on one income coming in.  When you invest, you don’t leave all your eggs in one basket, essentially you’re spreading them around.

With the right investment, you can enjoy the added advantage of diversifying your investment portfolio.  Not only that, it also makes you feel pride in your ownership!

Price tag: $300,000 (decent studio apartment in the UAE)

Read related:

5 Things The New Rich Are Investing In – And It’s Not What You Expect

The Top 7 Investments for 2018

6. Buy Your Own Home

 

Owning a property should be one of your top priorities.  It’s all about securing your future, retirement, and saving in the long run.  And above anything else, isn’t it comforting when you can call a place your own?

Some other advantages of owning your own home include more privacy, they typically appreciate in value, provide a home for your future family and build equity.  When you own your own home, the costs are pretty predictable too and it’s definitely more stable than renting.

Last but not least, it makes you feel proud.

Price tag: $3,000,000 (decent family villa in the UAE)

7. Bank Account

 

A successful woman has savings.  She knows she needs a backup plan.  She knows that sometimes unexpected things happen that could possibly leave her without an income for a period of time, or an emergency could come up which could require a big outlay on her behalf.  A bank account doesn’t just allow you security, it allows these savings need to be easily accessible in case of an emergency.

Whatever the circumstance, a successful woman is prepared.

Price tag: there’s not price tag to this – it should be healthy enough to allow you to take a year off or retire early

What other things should successful women must have? Let me know by commenting below.