I’m no Matthew Hussey (dating coach)—but I do like to think of myself as some-what knowledgeable on certain aspects of dating and relationships. I’ve had to kiss my fair share of frogs before I found “the one”. Everyone’s dream man is different, but I’ve got experience under my belt of the basics of what to do and what not to do.
Sometimes your knight in shining armor turns out to be an idiot wrapped in tin foil – Unknown
1. Be Sure of Who You Are & What You Want
So many times, I’ve witnessed women settling in fear of losing someone. I get it, being alone can be scary at first, plus the thought of cutting off the person you love seems heart-breaking.
Let me give you the cold hard truth:
If you, yourself don’t have standards for yourself then no one else is going to either.
Trust me, in the long run, you’re so much better off being single than being in a relationship based off negativity or toxicity.
Know what you deserve and don’t ever settle for anything less.
One way to manifest meeting your dream man, get a blank piece of paper out, write down (in detail) every attribute that you want in a man.
Be extremely honest, and write down the things you just aren’t willing to compromise on. Keep note that your list can change over time because everyone evolves and not everything’s set in stone.
2. Establish Your Values
You’re most likely going to attract someone of the same nature as you, so try and establish who you would want to be as a person. What kind of values do you want to abide by, the kind of people you want to surround yourself with and what your boundaries and standards are.
Once you’ve got that in-check, it would be easy to figure out if someone’s ‘the one‘ for you or not because it won’t be easy for you to get swayed the other way.
Learn to be a well-rounded person. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?
Unfortunately, a lot of people get too comfortable and sometimes, comfort is the enemy of growth.
For example, learn to have fun with yourself and be able to give yourself space and time. Don’t be too clingy. I strongly believe that success equals balance.
Once you’re happy in all aspects of life whether it’s finances, work, friends or family, that’s when you can allow someone else to come into it to enjoy it with you.
Everything in moderation is key to being the best version of you, which would essentially attract the right person.
4. Understand That All Good Things Take Time, and Patience
That word doesn’t fit well in today’s society where we tend to run after things that give them immediate gratification. Being in a relationship isn’t all butterflies and rainbows.
The grass may look greener on the other side at times, but that’s because some actually bother watering it. Learn to be someone who knows how to pick their battles and compromise where it’s worth it and communicate effectively with respect.
These things aren’t something that usually comes naturally, and when it does, it takes time and effort to maintain it.
So, before getting into anything it’s worth asking yourself if you’re truly ready for that kind of a commitment.
Furthermore, nowadays, statistics show that women are waiting longer to get married—so don’t be in a rush!
A news report in Virginia sponsored by the National Marriage Project called “Knot Yet” reports that,
One of the major demographic and social changes of the last four decades has been the dramatic increase in the average age at which Americans first marry, from their early 20’s in 1970 to their late 20s today. Delayed marriage in America has helped to bring the divorce rate down since 1980 and increased the economic fortunes of educated women.
Trust me on this, there’s more to life than rushing into marriage.
Yes—the idea may be dreamy, but marriage is difficult and getting used to being alone is very important.
Invest time into becoming a better you and just have patience! Plus, desperation isn’t attractive and trust me, it shows.
5. Looks Aren’t Everything, But They Matter
This doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone cares about looks, and beauty comes in different shapes, sizes, shades and personalities.
Men are known to be more visual than women, so it doesn’t hurt to enhance your appearance. Take care of yourself, put a little makeup once in a while, style your hair and try wearing something a little flirtier.
Appearance does make an impression, so why not check that box if you can!
6. Don’t Be Scared to Show Your Femininity!
It’s great to be a strong woman with a mind state that expresses independence. I’ve noticed some women don’t like to show their vulnerable side out of fear that it would make them looks weak.
Tony Robinson talks about the law of attraction and power of polarity of masculine and feminine energy and claims,
The main law of attraction works like this: the more opposed the sexual energies between two people are – masculine vs. feminine energy – the stronger the attraction will be in the relationship
This is because if two people have a similar polarity, the attraction will be diminished.
In essence, don’t be scared to show off your femininity. A strong woman will always want to do things herself. However, a stronger woman knows she can do it herself, but accepts help anyway. Make the man feel like a man.
It’s your best accessory.
You would be shocked to know that there are a surprising number of case studies and research dedicated to the psychology behind smiling! There’s a deep evolutionary connection with smiling.
For one, it portrays that you’re not a threat, that you’re carefree, outgoing, nice and approachable!
Read my recent article on the power of smiling here.
To Tie it Altogether
There’s no hidden ‘secret‘ to attracting your dream man. Plus, life is something that’s so unexpected; you never know what’s around the corner.
Be the best version of yourself for when it does happen and don’t forget to have fun and enjoy the ride!